So I will mention just the initial. He is C. C has a sad background of his family, but i know he is a great man from the way he talks to me about the story of his family. The most important is now he is struggling to make his parents proud of him. Ever since something bad happens to his family, he was kinda motivated to have a good score on his studies even though he was actually a lazy kind of person. He is super calm. He sings to me sometimes. The first time i heard his voice, it is super calm. Honestly, it calms my heart as well. Whenever im trying to sleep, i always listen to the recording of his voice. When i was having a mentor job, I needed to wake up at 3. He called me so that he could wake me up. Listening to his voice in the morning feels like the day will be good. Compared to my own voice who 's always seems excited, he really talks super calm. When i had a rough day and i told him that i may not be able to do it, he is really trying to say that i can actually do it. He tried to be the one i want to be with. But everything i considered him as being flirty. Nothing so serious.
The day came, today is 20th Sept 2014, and last night i was having night out after my cousin's wedding party. It was the first time i went to a club and i was reaaaaaally excited. I met some of my cousin's friends and we were drinking and dancing. In the morning i had a thought about some of the guys i met at the club. I thought it was a crush and i have moved on. I wanted to cancel the meetup, and i was scared of my family dissapprove of him. I tried to warn him about the rain, and i thought i wouldnt be able to meet him
But that thoughts and temptations dissappeared after he actually came all the way, with that one hour journey in his motorcycles. He actually came and joined all of my family. I introduced him to everyone i met, because im going with a big family from my dad and my mom's , even my grandparents are here. It's weird i know, this is the first time we met and I already introduced him to the whole family. Actually i really want to give him a moment of a big family, since he hasnt got one since that happened. All went good. First he came and i already brought him to the room, to sit and eat some snacks, had a little talk with my brother who is the most talkative and welcome among the other family members. But everytime introduced him to anybody in here, it all just went well. The only thing funny is he is REALLY NERVOUS. He always seems panic. I saw his movement it is really seen that he is uncomfortable. He is scared. I havent known the feeling yet, but this is the feeling of meeting someone for the first time not only meeting her, but the whole big family. We had a karaoke with my brother, we sang together, because that's what he wanted, to have a duet with me. Then we had a dinner, again, together with my aunts and uncles, my bro, and everyone. He fits in though. After dinner he played the billiard with my dad, bro and uncle. Everything went very well. But what i m actually thinking now, tomorrow there will be thousand questions asked from the family to me. The only one i can be honest to is my brother, because he is the one most understanding. Before he went home, i thought he was going to confess, but it was just a hope. It didnt happen, im not dissapointed because there is this single feeling came out after i kissed his cheek. This is a debt that i ve promised him. I felt like, warm. I felt warm around him, and i wish i can meet him again someday.
There are so many things i want to do, but since we are no one to each other, we re just friends, i just have no rights to do all those stuffs, especially there are the whole family in here. I want to hold his hands. I want to hug him. I want to say that i love him. I want to take care of him. I just can't say them yet. I dont want to be aggressive anymore. So now what? I dont know yet.
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